'Awaiting Saviours of Jazz Ballet'

Mid-week, feeling as usual : retarded by the lack of greens, not the type you chew, the type you use to purchase. The ability to make oneself happy/semi-contented. I wish i knew how to make more. And doesn't everyone else. Competitors then. ;-)

The week is alrite, can't really complain, nor can i boast about it. It's that kind of week. Working people all over would probably be at least nodding their heads mentally to this. I feel the pinch of being 25 more than 24 (and my memory has left me for a younger individual me thinks...). Most of my childhood friends are almost 300 kilometres away collectively and keeping in touch (this is true for me as well) almost seems like a pseudo-routine, a chore, something that would be in the back of your mind on rainy days and special events. I can't say that i know what's happening to everyone 'cause i don't. The world seems larger and everyone seems distant.

This is the adult world huh.

So when everything collapses into your box at night, you only have yourself. And sometimes I'd peer out the window, just to see what's happening: people walking, people talking; as a contrast to what goes on in my room. Nothing. I do have my headphones of course, blaring whatever that suits my mood, and ocassionally if my eyes are still up to it (when staring at the radioactive pc screen has taken a days' toll on me, but i'm fighting the shuteye), get some lines of a book into my head. My room has character. It's almost as still when i'm at work. But the rain helps a lot. It eases the monotony and lulls you to the next day.

Do i have a point?

Well, do i need to?

I find myself wandering anyways, it's like this: One whole day of being in a chain of protocols, this would be the ending part of the day where i'd make it up. No office aloofness. No being a meek paper pusher (i wonder what i look like in my colleagues eyes), would that be the truth?. So when's the next appraisal?. ;-)

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And probably you know
All the dirty shows I've put on
Blunted and exhausted like anyone
Honestly I tried to avoid it
Honestly

Back when we were kids,
We would always know when to stop
And now all the good kids are messing up
Nobody has gained or accomplished
Anything

- 'Comforting Sounds' by Mew

P.s. Coincidentally Mew is giving a free preview of their 2 tracks from their upcoming album, with a video from their single, 'Apocalypso' to boot, at their site (it's only going to be for one week, counting down from 16 June, and yeah i only found out about it today....):-

http://www.mewsite.com/site_fr.html

Cheers.

;-)