'Shoegazing, Repeated'

[Listening: 'Sometimes' by My Bloody Valentine]

After walking out from the ferry and unto the platform, still with thoughts on how crushed my colleague was; that she wouldn't be able to return to Kuala Lumpur this weekend to say her good-byes to her family and loved ones because it was just yesterday that my immediate superior decided to include her for the three-month project overseas; and all the tickets to Kuala Lumpur for tomorrow were sold out (because of the public holiday on Saturday, I think) - a sense of misplaced guilt pervaded me. But rationale, in defense, responded: you were only going over to Butterworth today so how could you have been able to get that ticket for her?; it's circumstantial - everything was converged in such a way that you weren't able to do a thing about it.

I think that they'll be leaving pretty soon, perhaps before the end of next week. She's already in the process of attaining her passport.

Initially my fear was this: that after my immediate superior returns from her three months overseas, this colleague of mine would take up the next three, leaving me with a high probability of missing my girlfriend's birthday and her leaving for further studies if I were to be the third person sent over. I could be the fourth I thought. Ask them to leave me for last. Because it'll be years before I see her again.

Then an English woman surprised me, as I was turning towards the roadside stall for dinner, "Do you speak English?"

"Yes. Yes, I do," I replied.

There was a food court that she wanted me to give the directions to (she had fond memories of the place). Because I had nothing better to do (dinner could wait), I walked them (she had a male travel companion) to the place which seemed to match her description, (but) all the while telling them that I was just guessing and I wasn't sure because I'm not really from here after all. She said I had an American accent. Because back in England, according to her, they don't use "I guess...." I told her it was from all the American shows which were on television. She said that it was happening too, in her country: the younger generation are all starting to talk like Americans. "'Friends' and 'Sex In The City'," she faulted explained.

The man stared in awe at how empty the streets were as we walked, then explained, "It wasn't like this in Delhi." I went on to ask a stupid question in relation to it (and this I do often - to anyone; it's a habit), "Was it all congested and chaotic with the traffic - were you stuck for hours anywhere?" To which his reply was, "Yes. Yes, but it kept moving. Chaotic - but it moved." Chaos is perpetual energy, I thought on the bus home.

"Twenty years since I've last been here *points towards some old building* and that wasn't here, the last time. I think." I scratched my head and wondered if his memory was really that good. He was from Australia and he didn't look his age.

Eventually we did get to the right place, only that it was closed.

"It's alright, at least now we know where it is and we can come back here for lunch tomorrow," the woman said with a smile. The man put out his hand and I shook it and then the woman, hers and I shook it, and everyone smiled. "Hope you'll enjoy your stay here," I said and waved as they headed back to where we came from and me in the opposite direction, towards a new place for dinner.

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