'You Could Be Anywhere (But Here)'

Take a while doing some things: holding, holding,
I don't know what has come to this: holding, holding

All alone, getting closer,I'm holding: memories;
And do you hope to remember this?
I don't think you do...
I don't think you do..
I don't think you do...

I don't know where you are...
I don't know where you are....
I don't know where you are...
I don't know where you are...

I wish I'd knew: where you are...

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It would be an understatement to say that I'd be bored if ever there was no electricity in my house during the weekends. My main activity back in the house of the good 'ol town: going online and immersing myself in activities related to the world of broadband. Bliss in the span of two (and sometimes one) non-working days (/day), laced with some lack of sleep and being so headshot: you wouldn't know what someone said even if they repeated it to you by paraphrasing it; or simplifying it - then again, maybe that's just me on weekends *shrugs*.

The electricity went off around a week back, and went off good it did. There were a few instances where I could easily rectify the situation by flipping the various switches which were in the workings of the fuse box, when the occasional trip happened - alas, not that particular time. I gave it a few (more) tries after having dinner at 'mum's place', thinking that one of the power outlets had triggered the blackout and was keeping it that way (this: also had happened before..). This was done with the assistance of my everfaithful Nokia phone-light - which also got me out of a couple of tight fixes when I had accidentally dropped the car keys somewhere in the dark.

After a while, I just gave up. I was on my mattress and in the darkness. I stared at the ceiling - thinking that it was too high up - a waste of space (but it provided me an edge when I was working the pc's loudspeakers away - no one ever complained to me, and I'd sometimes carry on till over three am). The darkness never dived into my head; as it wasn't as natural then. And after about ten to fifteen minutes of tossing and turning; I felt that forcing myself to sleep in a room with no electricity just wasn't going to be it. So I left the house, turned off the main and drove back to the other home.

I had never felt so severed (throughout the night since the electric-trip). But feeling frustrated with the circumstances wasn't going to do me any good, I told myself - the best thing was to get whatever it was repaired, as soon as it could be (which meant that it wouldn't be that weekend; and not the next day). This turn of events had a left a void in me, as I was counting on 'seeing' her when she got back. It didn't happen until Monday morning: 'contacting' not 'seeing' *shrugs*

And when I got to my room in Penang on Sunday night; in the midst of unpacking and re-messing up the place - I realised that I was short of a phone charger, and it was already down by a few bars; from all the illuminating and usual use that I had subjected it to.

I had honestly never felt so sick in my stomach (with a slight discomfort behind my throat as well), during those few earlier hours at work - was it always going to be this way?, I thought - and when would I know that I'm not going overboard with this?

I still don't actually.

( _")