'Casually Grim'

So it's been a few days that i've been out o' da bloggin world. But sure enough i've got my plans this weekend...

Last saturday was great... practically 12 hours non-stop music and underground bands. Thinking of maybe getting to work on it, the details are probably somewhat tiring... but hey, it was 12 hours. It's going to be a long post i promise you, this weekend.

Sunday was a bit heavy, as usual if i'd stay back in Penang, i'd tag along with my landlady to her church. An Australian was the guest speaker. And he sure spoke. Loud enough to make me feel uncomfortable at times. I have no idea whether it was the audibility of his voice or his message. The contents itself was pretty eye-opening. He was (and i'm sure this is well expected of any church speaker) preaching about the building of God's Kingdom on Earth. I had a few things that came out of of my closet that day, pestering me, disturbing even; that i wasn't doing a good job in that particular department. It was a heavy topic. But being as critical (as i am now...) as i've sobered up/been exposed to daily elements of living in 'the world', his message was too heavy sided on one particular plain. It seemed to me that he was speaking of outward actions too much and not focus on self, but towards God.

"How can we change the world if we don't change ourselves?". Regardless of what you believe in.

But anyways, who am i to say this?, probably that message was directed to the regular congregation on that day, not really me, but served more as a reminder of my duties? (I have no idea; coincidentally when i was out at the ground level of my apartment last night, the winds were blowing rough, with each tumble of rubbish and dried leaves; I felt myself thinking again on a level that wasn't me: "What matters to you now?").

And so the last few days at work i'm more relaxed (workwise probably still doing as much, though not as intense, which is good i suppose) 'cause i feel, 'Work doesn't constitute to being a well rounded human' (not physically, you know what i mean, ;-). Which brings me to another point - All of a sudden i'm starting to feel that people all around me are taking the 'routine things' all too seriously either that or their stuck in a rut w/o realising it. But then again, this is me, in my state of mind, now.

My boss is finally going to be more 'intimate' in my department. She just left her glory on the 3rd floor and will be resuming her old tasks on my floor end of this month. I'm probably going to be seeing her a lot in the dreaded 'rebuking room', seeing that she has already shot me down probably a hundred times by now this week through emails. Wish me well.

:-